THE TRUMP-LAUNCHER is a space vehicle designed to take the odious 45th president of the United States and his family far, far into outer space, never to return. After a number of years travelling as fast and as far away from Earth as possible, it will launch the disgusting man through the specifically-designed tube at close to light speed, guaranteeing that he is never, ever, ever seen again by a member of the human species.
Without a doubt, this is the single most important transport vessel constructed since Noah's life-preserving Ark. Unlike the Ark, though, this is designed to jettison its living cargo into deep space, preferably into the core of a star or perhaps even into a black hole.
The unpleasant first family need to be persuaded to board, so the spacecraft is designed to suit their personal tastes. Here is a description of each cleverly-designed element of this humanity-saving vessel:
1: TWITTER LINK: A steady and reliable Internet signal is maintained so that the useless president can continue his inane 3 a.m. ramblings unimpeded.
2: COAL FURNACE: The scientifically illiterate waste of space prefers pollution over not-pollution, and thus his vehicle is powered by dirty fossil fuel. The fuel is taken directly from the on-board mine (3).
3: COAL MINE: Desperate West Virginia coal miners voted overwhelmingly for the disgusting orangutan, and are rewarded with the opportunity to develop all the physical illnesses one can expect from breathing air filled with coal dust; even whilst traveling through space. Lucky them. Zoom in and you'll see them slaving away in horrid working conditions just like they wanted.
4: MISSION CONTROL: This is largely unmanned, much like the leadership of most federal agencies under this incompetent moron's administration. Never mind, it's just interstellar navigating; just add it to Jared Cushner's list of things he has no experience in but is inexplicably now in charge of.
5: AFRICAN SAFARI PARK: The two grotesque older Trump sons need something to occupy them on the journey, and they both enjoy nothing more than using guns to kill beautiful defenseless animals. The ship is equipped with mock-ups of elephants and giraffes for the two pieces of trash to senselessly exterminate.
6: TRUMP STEAKS: The loathsome president only eats steaks. Trump Steaks. Therefore, a few unfortunate cows need to be on board to be consumed by the revolting former real estate mogul in order to supply nutrients to his bloated body. Respect the sacrifice those cows are making on our behalf.
7: TAX RETURN STORAGE. Wherever the Jabba-the-Hutt-esque leader of the free world goes, his tax returns go with him. The safes that contain them are rarely out of his sight. He cares more about their remaining closed that he does about even the borders of his own country, and that's saying something.
8: THE WALL: A monument to the pointless waste that his entire life is, this wall doesn't really do much but is there nonetheless. Mexico didn't pay for it, because Jesus, get real, as if they ever were, who in the world would fall for that kind of talk?
9: THE LIBRARY: Contains one book, The Art Of The Deal. Written, as we know, by a ghost-writer, and as yet unread by the can't-read-too-good president.
10: ART GALLERY: Contains paintings of himself, commissioned by himself, and paid for out of donations to his front-foundation that were promised to veterans' charities.
11: CATWALK: This is to afford the self-righteous orange prick's third wife the opportunity to get away from her awful husband and spend some time doing what she's good at : walking up and down whilst wearing clothes.
Behind the catwalk is a backstage dressing-room area, included to satisfy the perverted old freak's penchant for barging in on 15 year-old beauty pageant contestants in various states of undress.
12: GOLF COURSE: It's not as if the weird-haired tax-dodger has anything better to do on Earth, so he may as well continue doing it up there.
13: MAR-A-LARGO: A table next to a patisserie in which chocolate cake is baked, for the unsophisticated intellectual light-weight to eat with disbelieving world leaders whilst bombing countries he can't even find in a map, or name.
14: GOLDEN ELEVATOR: When he descended on one in early 2015 to announce his bid to become president, he took the whole world down with him. Unbeknownst to him, though, one time when he ascends on it will be the last time, and the world will rise once again.
15: NUCLEAR FUEL CELLS: The nonsensical orange idiot famously asked, on a number of occasions, why America can't just use the nuclear weapons it possesses. Well, here they've been dismantled and put to better use. They power the launcher that will propel the despicable fake-tanned megalomaniac into deepest space.
16: THE TRUMP CAPSULE (aka THE HAPPY PLACE): The odious 45th president (pictured) enters the capsule, lured by the promise of seeing his ugly scowling objectionable face plastered favourably all over Fox News. Here he can sit in a gold chair, formulating his foreign and domestic policy based on the insights of the likes of the outright-disgusting Hannity and that loudmouthed Judge Janine banshee.
17: THE LAUNCH TUBE: Through this tube, the Trump Capsule is fired, ridding humanity of that disgusting unqualified piece of human garbage for all eternity.
You may have guessed : I don't like President Trump very much.
Thank you for the star⭐️ Angie, and the hearts 💛💚💜💙.
I'm not American, I'm Australian and I live in Japan. That's two countries in which I'm covered by socialized health care in the case of medical emergency. My heart goes out to the many Americans who just lost their health insurance this week. I truly don't know what it must feel like. I dedicate the hearts this silly picture receives to anyone unlucky enough to be put at risk by the idiot that got elected to the White House and the appalling bought Congress that supports him.