firstly, i would like to extend my appreciation to the community, i have not came across so many kind people in a very long time, it is very refreshing and it is helping me get through my situation, so i would like to thank you all for being so amazing.

i have been getting questions about what is happening with me as a couple people here know, and i joke around in chat about it (i'm very sarcastic in case you didn't notice) and i decided to let it be known to everyone which is hard for me because it is embarrassing but i think it needs to be done to eventually heal emotionally from all of this, and so i don't have to explain it repeatedly.. lol i am in no way looking for sympathy and i don't want anyone to judge me based on this alone.

as promised, i have kept the picture as non-gross as possible, made it kind of cartoonish and i will spare you in depth details, because it gets kind of gory.


it started around 4-5 years ago when i developed a pilionidal cyst (abcess) that would not go away. i waited and waited and hoped it would go away and it didn't so i eventually was able to get on a free health care plan and get surgery for it. my first surgery was december 1st of 2010, everything seemed fine post surgery, it was actually a huge relief because the cyst was always flared up so i was in pain all the time. for the surgery, they had to cut from my tailbone all the way down my midline (or as i like to say, from my back down my crack :3) anyways, about two weeks later the stitches started to dissolve and the surgical area opened back up. the only reason i agreed to this surgery is because i wanted this issue dealt with and the surgeon said "one and done, you'll heal up in about two weeks and be good to go" the surgeon told me to pack dry gauze into the wounds and told me it will heal. 4 months later it was getting excrutiatingly painful to keep packing gauze into the wounds, as they were extremely infected and he just kept saying the same thing. i had enough and decided to seek out another surgeon, this surgeon said i needed to get surgery on it asap because it was highly infected, so about a week later i was in the operating room once again. this time she did basically the same surgery, from my back down the crack, yadayadayada except she putting draining tubes in and stitched me up with regular stitches since they are stronger. i again, had immediately relief after the surgery but about a week or two later when i went to get the stitches out i knew there was a problem because it was extremely painful again. i was so scared to get the stitches out as that area is so raw and sensitive from everything going on and i was right in being scared, it was soo painful and she was screaming at me the whole time to relax and stop tensing (come on it's a only a natural reaction when someone is trying to jab at your infected crack) and she almost missed a few stitches and it had opened back up immediately (and worse) and she blamed it on me, she was very rude so that was the last time i saw her. i went to a wound care center and infectious disease specialist and they had me doing everything under the sun to try to heal it, for 6 months we had packed it with collagen, silver, prescribed me the strongest antibiotics possible and if anything, it has gotten worse. the doctor told me there's absolutely nothing left he can do and told me i need to find a specialist and in the meantime try any kind of remedy i find, he even told me to use an animal product my mom suggested, saying at this point i might as well. anyways, from that time i've been trying to find a specialist, a few doctors have tried to send me to more general surgeons but i would rather deal with this than it get any worse yet again. for the last year and a half i haven't been able to bend, run, sit for long periods of time, lay on my back very much, jump, get it wet (when i shower i have to get syran wrapped and my bandage changed daily, and cleaned.. though no more packing it as it is too painful and wasn't helping) basically everything a normal 23 year old female should be doing, i cannot. it is extremely painful on a day to day basis but some days are better than others, i call them "relief days". i have hope to find a specialist and one day be able to be normal again one day. i just hope it comes sooner than later.. anyways, that is why i am on sketch club every waking moment, i love it here! it has helped me so much, and you all are amazing people. i am very thankful to have randomly stumbled upon the app and decide to download it (which says alot because i hate paying for apps!) it must have been fate.